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Politics/Culture

Elation and Exhaustion

What a week. I went to bed (very) late Tuesday night feeling disconsolate, woke a couple times to take a peek at my phone, put my head back under the pillow wondering whether it was possible to keep it squeezed hard enough to succeed in self-suffocation, awoke just a bit later having not tried to find out, then felt even bluer in cranking up my laptop and observing the yawning vote gaps separating frontrunning Donald Trump from Joe Biden in key battleground states, including my own here in North Carolina.

“Is this really happening?” I asked myself and the fates themselves. “Could it be?” 

Already, my mind was projecting darkly ahead, wondering how the country would survive four more years of this horror show, and what I would do with the despair already wrapping itself around my insides, like a snake set to slowly squeeze the life out of me.

“Big hill to climb for Biden. Possible he’ll eke it out but I wouldn’t bet money on it.”

I texted that to my daughter in California at 8:56 a.m. EST Wednesday morning. (She works the graveyard shift, and had been up for hours.)

She advised me: “Don’t give up hope!”

Oh, the optimism of youth!!

But it seems to me that the whole issue of Trump critics not understanding his voters has always needed to be turned around and asked of them on one overarching issue that dwarfs all others: Doesn’t character matter?

By 9:22, however, I had noted fresh vote totals, computed electoral votes in the quartet of battleground states still at issue, and realized that if clear trends held in just two of the four, Joe Biden would be sworn in as president of the United States come January.

“Say what?” I asked myself, checking and rechecking my figures before madly texting them to my daughter and some friends I figured could use the bucking up.

Although I would normally regard “cautious elation” as a self-canceling phrase, I will submit that as an accurate depiction of what I was feeling by then.

I also noticed the caution receding in small increments hour by hour over the subsequent days, even as the condition known as “2016 PTSD” served as a brake on a complete surrender to euphoria.

Until yesterday morning at 11:34 a.m. EST, that is—when CNN called Pennsylvania and the presidency for Biden and we popped open a bottle of champagne to celebrate what felt more like absolution for the very soul of America than it did an election result.

***

And just underneath the elation—a sense of exhaustion. A desire to have this man and all he represents out of the office he has soiled so wantonly, at such cost to Americans’ relationships with each other and with the larger world.

Celebrating Biden victoryAlso out of my life, out of my head and the heads of nearly 75 million of my fellow voters who turned out in record numbers after having watched in alarm and dismay as he and his minions had spent the past four years setting fire to every democratic institution, protocol, and code of decency that our country has so laboriously constructed through the turmoil of our founding and the drastic challenges it has faced and overcome since.

It’s a long list of assaults, led by his sustained efforts to destroy every person and institution who would not be bent to his will and pledge him their undying loyalty.

That has always been the litmus test for all those come into his orbit, be they directly subordinate cabinet members and staffers, civil servants, or the Republican legislators whom he tried and mostly succeeded in making subordinate to him rather than another independent branch of government.

In his dreams of being all-powerful, he thought such blind loyalty should also include the judiciary branch, whom he continues to hope will find merit in his baseless, legally meaningless pursuit of redress for the plain fact of losing a democratic election. No doubt he will consider all of them backstabbers once they refuse to do his bidding, just as he has every semi-independent voice over the past four years who saw fit to take seriously their oaths to uphold the Constitution rather than the craven desires of a would-be king.

In his dark and quarrelsome mind, always, in every case, his failures are due either to a would-be ally betraying him, or enemies cheating him out of what is rightfully his.

***

So: the persistent and troubling question now echoing around the world: How is it possible, after all we have observed about this man’s character and the obvious destruction he has levied upon the well-being of our country, that upwards of 70 million American voters wanted four more years of not only the same, but even the worse that would have been sure to come?

Liberals, moderates and even many disaffected Republicans have spent the past four years hearing they needed to work harder to understand the cries of Trump voters, how the system had not worked for so  many of them, how they felt the country’s problems could only be tackled by a wholesale upending of our calcified power structure.

Fair enough. Systemic ills abound in every country, made up of imperfect human beings as they are, and democracies are hardly immune. Clearly, we have work to do, and it will be ever thus.

Joe Biden

But it seems to me that the whole issue of Trump critics not understanding his voters has always needed to be turned around and asked of them on one overarching issue that dwarfs all others:

Doesn’t character matter?

Doesn’t honesty matter?

Don’t trust and kindness and humility and compassion matter?

How can you overlook or try to make inconsequential the obvious lack of all those basic character traits in a man entrusted with the welfare of our nation?

Shouldn’t a president be, before and above everything else, as a minimum, baseline requirement, a decent human being?

***

***

The fact that Donald Trump is not, and never has been, a decent human being, and that 70 million voters refused to see that all too transparent fact, or did not regard it as a problem, or laughed it off as a mere quirk, or, in the case of a not inconsequential number of them, identified with that indecency and used it to amplify their own, is the great unresolved issue of the 2020 campaign, it seems to me.

And I still do not understand, and likely never will, how it is possible that many decent, loving people I know are among those 70 million.

Perhaps it will remain an enduring mystery even to themselves.

What I do know today is that an even greater number of Americans (74 million and counting) have now called a halt to the dispiriting spectacle of the Donald Trump presidency, and have made an emphatic statement that character does matter, honesty does matter, that we desperately want and need our leader to be a person of basic integrity.

A person, in other words, like Joe Biden.

All manner of policy differences can commence to be hashed out from there, often, as befits a democracy, in highly contentious terms.

But without a baseline level of character and decency, honesty and civility and trust, we can’t even begin to discuss them—and they won’t make any difference anyway. You can’t wring decent output out of indecent, corrupt input.

Meanwhile, I already feel less exhausted and more elated, albeit more quietly, today than I did yesterday.

That’s a most welcome start for me on the next four years.

***

Speaking of decent human beings…

***

Check out this blog’s public page on Facebook for 1-minute snippets of wisdom and other musings from the world’s great thinkers and artists, accompanied by lovely photography. http://www.facebook.com/andrew.hidas/

Deep appreciation to the photographers! Unless otherwise stated, some rights reserved under Creative Commons licensing.

Elizabeth Haslam, whose photos (except for books) grace the rotating banner top of homepage.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/lizhaslam/

Library books by Larry Rose, Redlands, California, all rights reserved, contact: larry@rosefoto.com

ByeDon bumper sticker by Andrew Hidas https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewhidas/

Victory celebration photos by Geoff Livingston, Washington, D.C.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/geoliv/

Biden in contemplation by ExposeObama, Washington, D.C. https://www.flickr.com/photos/exposeobama/

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Claire Spencer
5 years ago

Bob and I have discussed this concept over and over. I suspect that I can find acceptance of the unacceptable more easily due to the fact that I have been a square peg progressive in a mass of circular conservatives most of my life. I have evolved from innocent oblivion as a child, to questioninig without comment as a teenager to finding unease in the skin of decades of my adult life, slowly emerging more and more as a misfit, even holding myself as superior to them.

Then I moved to California, secure in the notion that I would find “my people”. Surprisingly, I suffered a good deal of predudice for the simple noise my Southern accent made in California academic circles, judgements immediately made. Of course that changed as people got to know me. Nevertheless, I find knee jerk judgement hard to swallow. I, like you, have Trump supporters in my own family. At one point, in the midst of an argument that was going nowhere with a family member, I decided that it was best to step back rather than lose that relationship. We still disagree as heartily as before, and I am not sure I could bridge that gap with conversation, but at least we have agreed to go to neutral corners in favor of a relationship.

At this point, I think that a societal version of agreeing to disagree might be the only way out of this, and as at least some conservatives will see, the country will not fall to ruin as the conspiracy theorists opine. There are the hard core rightwingers, who will never find compromise an option, just as there are those on the far left, who have the “my way highway” mentality. I just hope that the rest of us can find our way out of this dark time in our democracy and usher in a new age of acceptance and inclusion for all in this country, at the very least.

Norette
Norette
5 years ago
Reply to  Andrew Hidas

California misses you Andy but No. Carolina is the better for it. It will be above my pay grade, but our sociologists need to give us some insights on why the lock step following to Trump. Maybe decency is taken for granted. Let’s find a new middle ground.

Geoff Livingston
Geoff Livingston
5 years ago

Hey, I totally identify with this. I too feel exhausted, probably by the tension of the past four years, the horrible sense of dread about the other result. Glad we made it, but like any bad relationship that ends, America has a lot of healing to achieve if we are to become better for it.

Robert Spencer
Robert Spencer
5 years ago

I grew up in a progressive-Democratic Party-Unitarian family whose parents worked diligently to support causes from women’s rights to racial equality. They supported Adlai Stevenson over Ike. My great-aunts were suffragettes. Moreover, I can’t think of a single family member (children, brothers, in-laws, cousins, nieces, nephews) who voted for Trump. All of us popped the champagne after the networks announced Biden as the winner. But, for persons like Claire, who must tiptoe around this division with family and life-long friends, I have the utmost respect; it’s a struggle that demands strength, patience and enduring love. They’re a microcosm of the conflict within America today. The fact Claire is my wife has nothing to do with my appreciation of her resolve to deal with this issue in a thoughtful and loving manner. It can’t be understated.

Susan Dearing
Susan Dearing
5 years ago

Great piece, Drew! Yes I continue to be baffled by the Trump supporter — such obvious blind spots and denial about the utter lack of any decent content to his character. One of my very best friends is a Trump supporter and we decided the only way our friendship would continue and thrive would be for us just not to talk politics. I think that for many of us with loved ones in our lives who did vote for Trump, it’s a matter of simply agreeing to disagree and to continue to love them despite the puzzlement of how they could support someone like Trump.

Kevin Feldman
Kevin Feldman
5 years ago

Thanks Drew – appreciate the comments of readers as well. I too think the heat will be turned down with Trump out of office as you note – he is uniquely divisive because he could care less about actual policy agendas etc – his clinical narcissism demanded a constant focus on “me”… I am optimistic we can get back to some level of normative political discourse where we have some basic agreement on the facts of an issue and can instead debate potential responses, possible solutions etc. Just imagine having department heads of key sectors of the government who are actually accomplished in that field!! It can only get better, especially if Georgia can find a way to elect 2 democratic senators on Jan 5!

Lisa
Lisa
5 years ago

Let’s be fair. Upholding to the US Constitution the Electoral College votes and declares the winner of an election in the USA, not the media. All those people dancing in the streets on Saturday must have slept through HS Govt class.

Francesco
5 years ago
Reply to  Lisa

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alea_iacta_est

News outlets report the numbers released by the counting polls, so you’re right: it’s not the media. Media report their projection when the difference in votes between the first and the second candidate is higher than any reasonable counting mistake at the polls. You not admitting a victory projection doesn’t mean that you want to wait for the Electoral Collage: it means you believe the counting wasn’t fair, and therefore this was a coup. If you try to say out loud the reasons that lead you to believe that, you would probably laugh at yourself. Try. Let’s be fair.

Lisa
Lisa
5 years ago

You know what they say about “assuming” anything. :-) They are still counting votes, let’s let this all play out. We all want it to be a fair win with “legal” votes counted only.