“It’s hard to see the surface…from the bottom” sings Oklahoma-born, Nashville-based singer-songwriter Parker Millsap in his fiery “Dammit” anthem that fuses near-despair with a defiant, emphatic hope. As so often happens, I stumbled across the impressive, infectious body of work Millsap has been producing for the better part of a dozen years now while I was looking for something else to complement a few thoughts I was hoping to draw forth to help get myself—and maybe you?—through these next days, weeks, oh hell, let’s say it: years.
Four of them.
So many feelings sloshing around about that prospect, words pouring forth from them, competing for expression since the tide started turning in an ominous direction as the late dark hours turned darker on Election Night.
Appalled, confounded, dispirited, disillusioned, fearful for what awaits, for what the man has threatened and promised he will do.
The rhyme scheme and beat have a fine frolicsome time there, bowing happily in each other’s direction before they’re sprinting off and looking for new partners.
By the morning, the finger-pointing from countless corners had already commenced, no doubt an attempt to fill the hollowing out of hope, that thing with feathers, which feels like it has been stolen away, with no one left to prosecute the offenders.
I’ve beheld those fingers and pondered pointing a few of my own today, stopping and starting a dozen times to fill this space with words to help me begin making sense of what happened, why it happened, and What To Do Now.
Having now read and listened to dozens upon dozens of treatises ranging from learned analytical tomes to curt, obscene (and, I would say, unhelpful) pejoratives about the majority of voters and all they represent, I’ve decided to hold off on adding any more notes to the autopsy.
Plenty of time for that later (dammit).
And better, so much of the time, to go first to the poets, and those poets who put their words to song.
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The first song I heard from Parker Millsap, “Forgive Me” (bonus track available below), had me picturing him as a road-weary and raw cowboy crooner in his 50s, laying it all out—heart, soul and guts—on the table, his demons cornering him at last and his “rooms full of questions/
Quite a collection/But answers…only a few.”
Jeez, was I wrong.
Not about his talent, which I recognized immediately, but as you’ll see below, his age, which was a month short of 20 at the time of the recording. It’s a rare thing to “hear” so much age and hard-won, desperately grasped wisdom from one so young.
Perhaps filling in part of the picture is his childhood in Purcell, Oklahoma, 2020 population: 6,651. Family visits to the town’s Pentecostal Church three times a week no doubt increased his “collection” of eternal questions and pleadings, and though he has reportedly left churchly ways behind, the reverse would not appear to be true.
Which brings us to “Dammit,” released on his 2021 album, “Be Here Instead.” The album’s 12 songs showcase the range that earns Millsap (no relation to Ronnie) his multi-faceted Indie/Alternative/Country/Rock label. Toss in some soul touches (“Vulnerable”) worthy of Al Green, questing ballads (“Now, Here”) that could work just fine for Amy Grant, and hard-charging rock anthems (“Dammit”) nicely suited for Coldplay, and you get a sense of the ease and joy with which Millsap has been exploring his musical sensibilities over the past decade.
“Dammit” actually began life as a ballad with eight chord changes and a slow tempo, he told nashville.com upon its release. When his producer suggested the lyrics could be better showcased with an infusion of rock ala U2, Millsap worked and reworked it, finally dropping down to two chords, amping up the tempo and underlaying it with a driving beat that bestows a clever, expectant pause in the middle of multiple lines, so it feels/reads like this:
You can’t see the forest…for the branches
You can’t see the ocean…from the bottom of the wave
You can’t see the glory…from the trenches
You can’t see tomorrow… from today
It makes for an infectious, immediately hypnotic effect, so give it a listen here and we’ll wind things up on the other side. (The lyrics will appear in full below.)
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The rhyme scheme and beat have a fine frolicsome time there, most first and third lines of each stanza (branches/trenches, minute/in it/, bottom/got ’em, etc.) bowing happily in each other’s direction before they’re sprinting off and looking for new partners.
“Some folks say to smoke ’em, if you got ’em/Dammit if you don’t, damned if you do” would seem a reference to marijuana and its mind-and-private world-altering qualities, its upsides/downsides well-known. But the lines work in a larger sense for all the indulgences and possibilities and risks of life, roads taken and walked wide around, the conundrums of doing/not doing, acting/avoiding, yes/no’ing as thick as the forests, as relentless as the waves, no outcomes assured, deciding not to decide also a decision one must live with.
“It’s hard” is a theme running throughout (Yo, don’t we know it, Bro…), the questions unceasing, the “waves” and “thistles” assaulting him at every turn. And though “It’s hard to know the answer…when the question’s never said,” our narrator wises up to himself near song’s end with this self-admonishing, killer line: “It’s hard to be a dancer, baby, when you’re living in your head.”
I love that line so much I think I will let it linger…for at least four more years.
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DAMMIT
You can’t see the forest for the branches
You can’t see the ocean from the bottom of the wave
You can’t see the glory from the trenches
You can’t see tomorrow from today
I can’t tell the hour from the minute
I can’t tell the weekend from the middle of the week
It’s sure hard to see it when you’re way down in it
It’s sure hard to beat it when it makes you feel a little weak
It’s hard to see the surface, from the bottom
It’s hard to know your purpose, ain’t it true
Some folks say to smoke ’em, if you got ’em
Dammit if you don’t, damned if you do
I always try to see the thistle for the flower
I try to see the shower as a break from the heat
I try to whistle straight through the sour
Yeah, the pill tastes bitter but I’ll tell you that it tastes sweet
I said it’s hard to see the surface, from the bottom
It’s hard to know your purpose, ain’t it true
Some folks say to smoke ’em, if you got ’em
Dammit if you don’t, damned if you do
It’s hard to keep a secret but not to tell a lie
It’s hard to believe it when you’re barely getting by
It’s hard to know the answer when the question’s never said
It’s hard to be a dancer, baby, when you’re living in your head
Now you can’t see the future and you can’t keep the past
All the winners are just lucky losers baby, yeah, nothing ever lasts
It’s hard to see the surface from the bottom
It’s hard to know your purpose, ain’t it true
Some folks say to smoke ’em if you got ’em
Dammit if you don’t, damned if you do
It’s hard to see the surface, from the bottom
It’s hard to know your purpose, ain’t it true
Some folks say to smoke ’em, if you got ’em
Dammit if you don’t, damned if you do
Damned if you do.
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The title alone is worth some serious pondering in these fractious and finger-pointing times…
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Beautiful duo here, traveling the intimate byways of their tradition…
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Elizabeth Haslam, whose photos (except for the books) grace the rotating banner at top of page.
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Library books photo by Larry Rose, all rights reserved, contact: larry@rosefoto.com
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Starling murmuration by Helen Haden, Sussex, UK https://www.flickr.com/photos/hellie55/
Millsap photo from the public domain
Wowee….Electrifying music and amazing lyrics. I’m glad he’s so young as we will get to have so many years of his music ahead!
And thank you…I’ve been belting out a few howling songs of pain these last days myself. Nothing that sounded this good, but oh how music helps. It helps so much.
Glad you felt the same as I did upon discovering him, Mary. He’s a unique talent, having mastered such an array of voices—both vocal and lyrical—with a long career trajectory still ahead. Such riches, hiding not so much in plain sight as they are jostling for breathing and thriving room amidst so much other talent. Helps indeed!
“It’s hard to be a dancer when you’re living in your head.” LOVE this song; anthem for our times. I’m on a mission to collect songs of protest, songs of support and DAMMIT came up early in my search! I use an all encompassing definition of “protest” and share what I find in letters to friends. Lola Young’s “Messy” is a personal protest song that resonates with me – even though she’s a youngster and I’m 70 years young.
I thank you for this information and look forward to hearing more.
Well, I certainly felt as though I was at ocean’s bottom with little hope of getting to the surface on the evening of election night. I awoke the next morning and resolved to find my way back to breath and light, and considered strategies for seeing my way clear of despair and defeat. A close and longtime friend surely rejoiced the national election results from the night before (political views that have long chilled and distanced our relationship, mitigated only by the agreement to not discuss politics). Knowing the smug joy that he must be feeling and as much as I anguished over the results, I decided that perhaps a magnanimous message of congratulations might somehow help pull me out of my funk. I texted a message of congrats on “an impressive election-day victory.” His response alluded to me being a “class-act,” which I much appreciated. More significantly, he added, “We’ll see how it works out.” The see-how-it works-out sentiment caught my attention and helped frame a personal strategy for facing the coming years of anticipated horror and angst: curiosity. It occurred to me that I have long believed myself to see the world and think about it through a framework held in common by most people. Turns out I have been in the minority (albeit a large one) of people who believe in the principles of diversity, inclusion, kindness, empathy, and brotherhood, and believed those qualities to be essential for our leaders. Apparently I was wrong all along and too naive or self-absorbed to see that those characteristics were not necessarily embraced or considered important by many of those around me nor by the vast numbers outside my world. So I’m curious. Now that he has returned as an unfettered, unapologetic, dystopian leader who is bringing along Gaetz, Gabbard, Hegseth, RFK, et al to do his bidding, is this what that majority has wanted, Dammit?