As a Worship Associate in my church, I occasionally assist in services, like a high-level version of an altar boy from my Catholic boyhood. That means I get to do some reading and talking instead of leaving it all to the priest. One function is a brief personal reflection tied to the presenter’s sermon theme. The subject on this occasion was suffering and mortality, for which I used this achingly lovely poem by Susan Deborah King as grist for my comments which follow in the next post. If you prefer to listen to the poem and reflection, click on the tab below the poem.
“As Death Approaches” by Susan Deborah King, from One-Breasted Woman
© 2007 Holy Cow! Press Reprinted with permission.
As Death Approaches
I can’t believe I’m laughing!
I’d have sworn I’d be
shaking or sniveling.
And I sure didn’t expect
a limousine.
I’ve never been in a limousine.
No biggy.
I’ve had better than fame.
Who needs the pressure?
As for fortune, I’m filthy.
That’s why I’m laughing.
I’ve had so much love:
the giving, the getting.
It’s shameful.
It’s embarrassing.
And it’s too late.
No one can take it away!
And I’ve had the pain
to help me appreciate it.
Thank God for the pain!
Easy for me to say
now that I’m going!
But no, seriously,
the kicks in the teeth,
the gut, the rugs
pulled out, slammed doors,
setbacks, snubs.
Without them, I’d
never have recognized
Love, bedraggled,
plain eyes shining,
happy to see me.
Do I want more?
Of course I want more!
I always want more
of everything: money, hugs,
lovemaking, art, butter,
woods, flowers, the sea,
M&Ms, chips, tops, bottoms,
trips — I did give up drinking —
time, sure, and yes,
I’d like to see
my grandchildren,
if there are any.
I’d like to see my books
but more has never
been good for me anyway.
Enough — that’s what I’ve
always needed to learn,
and is there a better way?
So this laughter
I had to work up to
through so many tears,
it just keeps coming
like a fountain, a spray.
Let it light on you
refreshment, benediction,
as I’m driven away.
Wow, Andy, this is awesome. Loved the broadcast where I could hear you speaking! Love you big bro!
Lovely choice; a keeper for when the end of days approach. Thanks for sharing! I'd 'tweet' or 'like' but I do neither (though I do do 'over the fence', literally).